I am now within the 24 hour mark of leaving (unsure grimace made here). I know this is certainly going to be an experience. At the moment, I'm not really sure what I'm feeling right now -- I've never done this before, and I think that is more than anything what is making me happy/nervous/anxious/scared/thrilled (pick your own adjective). Something that comforts me though, is knowing this can be done [hat tip to Brian S.]. What gets me though is the very idea that I'm sitting on my couch, at home, in La Crescent MN, right now, typing this while knowing this time tomorrow I'm flying to Europe, seems so surreal to me. I don't think it's really hit me yet and I don't think I'm going to fully comprehend it until I get back.
I suppose my three biggest concerns right now are: What if I run out of money? What if I'm some place and can't find a bed for the night? What if I'm spending time and money in Europe and have no clue what do with myself while I'm there (this includes too, what if I do something and it's really not interesting)? Realistically I know I'm tracking my money and would never let myself run out, I know there are always alternatives to finding a place to stay, and IT'S EUROPE! JUST GO DO SOMETHING! Never-the-less, the fear still lingers.
Visualize, if you will, the inner angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other: now one is saying this is a really good idea but the other is screaming at me telling me I'm an idiot for doing this huge of a trip on my own. I have no clue which inner persona is saying what. Comforting.
I feel I should be saying something great and inspired this close to being gone, but I can't think of anything. Naturally I'm thrilled to be making these making memories to have forever, I feel a little detached from myself right now, so I'm hoping after more than 5 hours of sleep and actually starting my trip I get better handle on myself.
Alright, 21 and 1/2 hours to go.
I want to give a thanks to all of you in my life: you are the most inspiration I'll truly ever need because you are amazing and wonderful and supportive. I don't know how I could have done this without every one of you. So thank you for loving me (which I know can be difficult), and for giving me the best parts of myself so I can do something great like this trip.
I hope you meet someone easy to talk to on the plane; I hope you sleep some place warm each night- even if it's not that comfortable; If you get a lost for a little while, I hope you experience something unforgettable finding your way back;I hope people help you when you need it and that you get the opportunity to help someone else;I hope you connect with someone who makes you feel like you're with family while you are away; I hope you hate to leave when its almost over, but love the thought of coming home :) Bon Voyage Steph!!! WE LOVE YOU
ReplyDeleteKiwi XXXOOO
Thanks Kiwi!!! I'm thinking it's all going to go well...per the name of the blog, if I get lost, well, I went in head first knowing full well that it could happen, and knowing from past experience everything happens a certain way for a certain reason and it always works out for the best in the end. I'm so glad knowing I'm one login away from being able to connect to everyone. Thanks for being amazing!!!
ReplyDeleteOkay...First of all I got an email notification that you had put up a new post! YAY! The email notification works! Now I know I won't miss a new post when you're in Europe!
ReplyDeleteSecond of all, every single stinkin' emotion that you're having right now is completely normal. If you weren't a little bit worried and anxious, I would be a little bit worried for you!
I think its good that you're worried a little about running out of money....then I know that you're not going to go over there and make frivolous unnecessary purchases. I know you'll be aware of your expenses. And remember (per Brian) there are TONS of things to do for free or VERY cheaply over there!!
I think it's good that you're worried a little bit about someplace to sleep...then I know you'll be thinking ahead and arranging hostels. If all else fails, you splurge for a night and stay in a hotel. There's a solution to every problem and you're a smart cookie and will be able to work through whatever comes your way.
And if you're worried about being bored with whatever it is that you chose to do at that moment, then you can just turn around and head for a different destination! That's the beauty of traveling like you are traveling instead of on one of those silly group tours...YOU can decide your own destination and YOU can change your mind and change your plans.
This will be an amazing adventure for you, Steph! Enjoy every minute of it and embrace every emotion that you're feeling right now.
Godspeed, Steph!